One of my previous posts explains my experiences with religion. I haven't really made a post yet about how I came to terms with what I actually currently believe in yet because I've noticed that it's changed a lot from when I first became agnostic to what my beliefs are now and it continues to change even to this day. I hate saying that I would never believe in certain things but for now this is what I believe in.
As I started learning about the difference between spirituality and religion I began opening my mind to many other theories. During this time that I began doubting the existence of a God more heavily than I did before, I read a book called Synchrodestiny by Deepak Chopra. It really opened up my mind about theories on coincidences and made me realise just how much there is out there that I believe in. Suddenly the fear of consequences of not believing in a God disappeared. I gradually came to the conclusion that there must be some sort of energy which I now describe as a universal energy that we choose to let in to our spirit which then enriches our soul and everyday lives. (In his book he describes something similar as the 'nonlocal universal energy'.)
As stress and anxiety continued to build up within me I slowly began to practicing yoga. A lot of people assume it's just for health and fitness benefits but for me, just doing the sun salutation every morning relieves a LOT of stress and anxiety from my every day life and it started making me enthusiastic in my hobbies once again. Inevitably, I started learning about meditation later on as well. When I first did it properly I must admit, it freaked me out a lot once I started opening up my '3rd eye'. I was beginning to go into a state of paralysis which I forced myself out of before going further. I pushed the idea of practicing such a thing away for a while due to fear.
I started taking meditation more seriously lately because of family issues that reappeared from the first few months since I started university. It has been a lot more effective combined with sun salutations, particularly during sunrise- probably because of the extra release of hormones. So far, I've been practicing it based on Jainism as some of the meaning of the mantras have really drawn me in and it has been a good follow up from Synchrodestiny. At first I practiced it rigorously, doing meditation after every sun salutation in the morning and then every night. I find now that it's not necessary that I do it this much as my problems have finally eased out and I'm ok to even do neither for a day or two. Now when I open my 3rd eye, I see images and colours. It's now a really fascinating experience now that I've gotten into it.
I still pay attention to my spirit and if it's tainted badly e.g. when I sense my ego is growing too big. Chopra explains in his book that every emotion comes from either pain or pleasure so I explore my state of mind this way. I feel so at peace after because I am then able to explain why I feel such a way and am able to rationalise things whereas before, this was never possible for me. (This is probably the biggest thing that being part of an organised religion never taught me and it's easier to believe that I'm in control of my outcomes rather than relying entirely on an external force.) Although I now find that I'm more intuitive and sensitive, my other chakras seem to be growing weaker so it will be something that I will be working on later...maybe something I will update on my blog in the future.
No comments:
Post a Comment